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Art of Judging People V/S Fear of Getting Judged

Do you ever stop yourself from doing something just because of “ log kya kahenge ”? I do! In fact, I’ve judged myself more than anyone else ever has. There are days when we judge others, but the harshest judgment often comes from within. My own vision shackled me with invisible chains.  A constant fear that kept me from being myself: Fear of dancing in public. Fear of getting clicked (what if I look old, not good enough?). Fear of wasting potential, of not living up to “standards.” The Weight of Opinions Over time, these fears weren’t even mine. They were borrowed from the world around me: Too much affection in public? "Wrong. Don't do it!" Getting drunk? “Good people, don’t do that.” Dating someone? “Weren’t you supposed to make it big, first?" Our society writes invisible rules, and we live inside that 10x10 room of opinions. The walls keep closing in, until one day people say, “ Aadmi acha tha, potential bohot tha, bura hua! ” The Circle of Judgement The circle o...
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"WordSmith"-Sure?

"What's the worst form of fear? To go through the same guilt again and again!" .. You know,  I have trust issues! Some literal ones Which are quite depressing At times.  .. When I hit the rock bottom I just re-live them again.  .. Now, think of you Making the same mistakes Which I shouldn't have  At first place! Isn't the moment of "self-doubt" for real? And it takes a heavy toll. .. Probably, that's my problem It definitely is. I tried to stop myself From going through it again and again. But seems like damage is done. .. A potential damage  That often restricts my spurted flow of words out of mouth. Though my rants are all set to be lashed at someone Full of despair and complaints! But now these thoughts seem to be hitting the thin walls of my veins Making their way to the hyperactive pumped brain And there I feel a hard pricking pain against the cranium! .. As i try to hold myself together I just pass out  And it seems as if  There is ...
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Skeptical Trajectory

Skeptical Trajectory! Often, I think of nth possibilities, Of twisting the "things", "paths" and "crossroads"! You see,  I'm trying!  .. I'm trying to fix:  The Skeptical Trajectory That has caged me  For time  I can't give an account of! .. Throughout my teenage, I have been a follower Definitely, not of the right deeds  But of simple "defined traits" pattern. .. "शायद, यह नज़रिया कभी मेरा था ही नहीं। और शायद कभी पूरी तरह बन भी नहीं पाया। यूं समझो की ऊंची दीवारों के इस 8X8 के कमरे में एक मैं हूं और कमरे की दीवार में जो सुराख है, वहां से आती रोशनी मेरा नज़रिया भी और दुनिया देखने का दायरा भी।" .. The Skeptical Trajectory, That I had chosen to follow! It's funny,  You know! It is!  .. Sometimes, at night; I sit on the floor,  Against the dark, Extra for a minute, A Minute turning into hours As I watch the night sky full of stars!  .. There are nights; a bit darker ones, Full of dangling eeriness!  That makes me...
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Muntazir

एक दिखावे की दुनिया बस्ती है, इन चार दीवारों के बाहर। जो हम सबने देखी है! कुछ कहते हैं एक और दुनिया बस्ती है, इन चार दीवारों के भीतर। जिनकी खुशियों के लिए हम सब जीते हैं। ... और एक ऐसी दुनिया भी है, जो सिर्फ इन आंखों के भीतर अपना बसेरा बनाए बैठी है। इस दुनिया में न कोई अच्छा है और न ही कोई बूरा। यहां सब मुझसे है और सभी का मैं हूं। कुछ ख्वाहिशों के महल है, और कुछ आंसुओं की नदियां। इन सब से कुछ कोस दूर, इन्द्रधनुष के उस पार बस्ती है, मेरी छोटी सी एक खुशियों की कुटिया। ... न जाने कब और कैसे? इस छोटी सी कुटिया में मेरे छोटी सी खुशियों की एक विशाल पोटली कहीं लुप्त हो गई। मानों जैसे मेरे मरने से पहले ही मेरे सपनों की अस्थियां भी साथ ही कहीं दफ़न हो गई! ... अब क्या कर सकते है जनाब? यहीं तो एक ऐसी दुनिया थी, जहां सब मुझसे है और सभी का मैं हूं। इन आंखों के बाहर तो, इस दुनिया में, बस सबकी खुशियां ही तो है। और उन्हीं का शायद मैं "भी" हूं। ... मेरे मन की इस बात से अनजान, कुछ लोग, अक्सर यह सवाल मुझसे करते हैं-: "तुम्हारे सपने बहुत बड़े हैं, क्या कभी इन्हें पूरा कर पाओगे?" तो आज ...
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A Pot Of Gold!

  And there's a thing about colors: "They don't discriminate, Our classification of the colors does!" ~~Shades of Yellow~~ As a kid, I was always mesmerised by the sight of a rainbow! A rainbow filled with every hue. Blending into each other, yet so distinct! Standing in unison, Having its own bends and beliefs! I was one of those kids who always thought, there's a pot of gold at the point of origin of the rainbow! And this is one of the many things that kept me intact to my beliefs till the date! "My share of yellow treat!" . So here goes my 4 a.m conflicts! . Mind-"They say there's a pot of gold within each one of us but for claiming it, we must forget the buy commotion in our mind!" Heart-O Really, is that true? Maybe or maybe not! But, how am I supposed to believe that, Especially at this time, When everything seems to fall apart? Mind-Maybe there's still a pot of gold waiting for us, on the other side of the rainbow! .. (This craze...
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"काफ़ी बातों में एक कप कॉफी।"

"काफ़ी बातों में एक कप कॉफी।" "एक डर सा है कुछ ज़्यादा सुलझने में, एक डर सा है तुम्हारी बातों में उलझने में, जो अक्सर बतियाती हैं,  उसके होने की बातें,  जो तुम्हारा था कभी  और है नहीं,  पर फिर भी ना होकर भी वह तुम्हारा कोई अपना ही है! .. ज़िक्र आज शायद उसका है भी  और नहीं भी, यह वक़्त उसका ना होकर भी है यहीं, और मेरा चाह कर भी है नहीं। .. बस यहीं डर सा है,  कुछ ज़्यादा सुलझने में, एक डर सा है तुम्हारी बातों में उलझने में। जिनमें उलझ कर मैं तुझ में कहीं खो जाता हूं,  पर शायद तुम्हारे खयालों में नहीं!" .. "एक डर सा है कुछ ज़्यादा सुलझने में,  एक डर सा है खामोशी के साथ चलने में, जो अक्सर बतियाती है उसकी खामोशी में भी याद आती है, जैसे वो भी हो मेरा ही कोई अपना। .. ज़िक्र उसका है ज़रूर,  पर वक़्त हमारा है कभी नही  याद उसकी है मेरी ज़रूर, बंदिशों में उलझी ज़िन्दगी तेरी नहीं। .. बस यहीं डर है कुछ ज़्यादा उलझने में,  एक डर सा है खामोशी के साथ चलने में,  जिन्हे पहचान कर मैं रुक तो जाती हूं,  पर तुम्हें सुनाने की हिम्मत नहीं जो...
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Disparaging Own Individuality!

Blue as the sky Or, blue as the ocean? Seamless water, Or, lucid cloudy sky? .. Pretentious profanity Or, ostentatious fidelity? Prickly revelations, Aiding smothering shambles! .. Ahaan? Seems like the night's going to hit hard! .. Confining yourself to Minuscule trickling stream of thoughts? Or, making out a way Far away From all the superposed apprehensions? ...... Isn't it funny to see a pattern In all the disclosures? When all you need is a chance of "self-closure". Where, your very own insatiable self-ego, No more asks for a heavyweight set of apologies , For every gesture that was a move towards disparaging own "individuality"! .. It's funny, I know. That's what you're thinking. If not you, maybe most of them are. And even, when not "the most" of them are! I, still am! And that's not even the worst part. .. But, the worst part is I love the cliffhangers Or, maybe that's how I have groomed myself over the years. Trying to ...
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