Skeptical Trajectory

Skeptical Trajectory!

Often, I think of nth possibilities,

Of twisting the "things", "paths" and "crossroads"!

You see, 

I'm trying! 

..

I'm trying to fix: 

The Skeptical Trajectory

That has caged me 

For time 

I can't give an account of!

..

Throughout my teenage,

I have been a follower

Definitely, not of the right deeds 

But of simple "defined traits" pattern.

..

"शायद, यह नज़रिया कभी मेरा था ही नहीं। और शायद कभी पूरी तरह बन भी नहीं पाया। यूं समझो की ऊंची दीवारों के इस 8X8 के कमरे में एक मैं हूं और कमरे की दीवार में जो सुराख है, वहां से आती रोशनी मेरा नज़रिया भी और दुनिया देखने का दायरा भी।"

..

The Skeptical Trajectory,

That I had chosen to follow!

It's funny, 

You know!

It is!

 ..

Sometimes, at night;

I sit on the floor, 

Against the dark,

Extra for a minute,

A Minute turning into hours

As I watch the night sky full of stars!

 ..

There are nights; a bit darker ones,

Full of dangling eeriness! 

That makes me sit for a while and think:

Think and Introspect,

Introspect and Question myself!

..

Questions full of ambiguity!

Resonating the struggles of my mind.

Digging my nails in the wrist

For the cold skin to feel some warmth.

..

As I try to make peace with my fears,

Fears that often leave a scar.

Scars highlighted by my dark pigmented chapped skin,

That are here to everlast!

 ..

Sometimes, at night,

I sit on the floor 

Against the wall 

Extra for a minute 

And feel the strange eeriness in this dark!

To compare if my fears are darker

Or, the shade of the sky full of stars! 

..

And I wonder, 

What if the stars in the night sky are scars too?

What if the things I said weren't said so?

What if I had said it all before?

What if I had not followed the "defined traits" pattern?

What if..!

..

This particular point,

Right at this place,

Turned out to be my defining moment!

Prefixing "Un" before Certainty

For fixing the 

Skeptical Trajectory-

That always added an extra ounce of weight to my existence,

With a pre-written Manual!